News Story

There was a news story done on one of the babies that I'm praying for. You can look at it here and if you'd like to see her blog, just click here.

Finger Walking

Well grandmas and grandpas - the day is quickly approaching when your little Hudson will be walking around on his own two feet!

Just like Kaylee, he has learned to finger walk before crawling.

The past few days I've been working on it with him, but I wasn't sure if he was "getting" the fact that moving his feet in that manner actually gets him from point A to point B. Well yesterday at bath time, he got really excited as he usually does. By the time I get the water temp right and get Kaylee ready to go in, he's somehow made it over to my leg and clinging to it with a death grip! I'm sure I could walk all over the house and he wouldn't fall off. :) Once I pried him off, he impatiently endured me getting his clothes off for the bath. Finally he grabbed my fingers and shot up on his legs like a rocket. Before I knew what was happening his little feet started moving and he was at the tub, holding onto the egde and actually lifting a leg in an effort to get in. I guess you can say, he loves the bath!

It's such a fun stage and it's so delightful to both Jeff and I to help him along in that way. I still don't think it will be long when he can crawl too. He holds himself up pretty well, but he ends up going backwards. I just love that scrunched up face he gets when he does that. It's not unlike the face he made during the famous sippy cup incident.

Baby Lessons

Hudson is getting to that age where he realizes that Mommy is separate from him. He's got separation anxiety now. I secretly love it. Jeff will be playing with him and everything is fine, and then Hudson will catch a slight glimpse of me in another room and suddenly he's crying like there's no tomorrow! Be still my heart!

When I come and pick him up he settles right down.

I often wonder what it's like to be a baby, held in his mother's arms, calmly looking at the world about him in total peace and assurance, knowing nothing bad can happen because he's in mommy's arms. How wonderful it must be to be held - so close, so warm, so strong, so comfortable.

There have been times in my life when I know I've been "carried". When strength of spirit, but not of my own, courses through me. When I have sudden and total trust in God, again, not my own, but a gift. I've also felt that strength leave me - physically felt it leave - when I no longer had need of it. There are other times when I've been sad and felt myself curled up in the palm of God's hand.

I don't know what my lesson is here. I just like to think of being held by our heavenly Father much as I hold Hudson. I like to see how content he is... how brave and fearless he is. I know God carries me - and not just through tough times - sometimes just because. I just need to slow down and feel it... know it... the reality of God's nearness and the safety and comfort of His arms.

So I guess it's not a lesson, just a thought for the day I wanted to share.

Coupla Thoughts

Tonight my dear husband watched the kids so I could go peruse the Christian bookstore in peace and quiet. It was a strange combination of utter bliss and feeling a bit empty handed. It was enjoyable, but also a little disturbing.

I'll tell you why. I never become so acutely aware of how many issues I have until I walk through the Christian bookstore. I walk up and down every aisle looking at books thinking, "I could use that!" and "Boy, do I ever need that!" If the prices weren't so high I could come home with armloads of books from there! As it turned out I just settled on one small book that seemed to sum it all up for me. It's called "Work in Progress, An Unfinished Woman's Guide to Grace" by Kristin Armstrong. Anyone else read it?

The other thing that struck me was the number of books about raising boys. You don't see any of them about girls. It's either about kids in general or boys specifically. Why is that I wonder? My curiosity is piqued.

Another Child Needs Your Prayers

Thanks for the heads up, Jen!

Up, Up, and Away!

Hudson's been doing stuff like this lately.

Admittedly, this isn't the safest thing for him to try climbing up on, but his fascination with the humidifier gives him plenty of incentive so I can take plenty of pictures.

It won't be long now and he'll be pulling himself up to his feet and cruising along the furniture.

He should also be crawling soon. He's not up on his knees most of the time, but he is scooting backwards, and they say that always comes first.

But boy does he ever get frustrated when he goes backwards.

Reach for it, Hudson!

He gets around though. Somehow he made it from here to...

...over here all by himself.

Good job, buddy!

Big Sisters and Stolen Sippy Cups

Once upon a time Hudson was minding his own business, enjoying a much needed break and drinking some cool water from his favorite sippy cup.
Suddenly his big sister comes in and swipes it away!

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"I'm so mad!", he says, "Where is my sippy cup?"

"My sister is so mean!"

"I don't know what I'll do without it!"

"Gone! It's gone forever. What a mean big sister I have."

Sorry, this story doesn't have a happy ending... unless your name is Kaylee. She got to watch this drama unfold live and in person. She also got to enjoy a cool drink of water during the show. I guess it's survival of the biggest in this household.

A Day to Create

It's been a busy day for Kaylee. All morning long she's been buzzing around the house on her tricycle. She's finally learned to push on the pedals instead of pushing on the floor. We're very proud of her (and she's pretty proud too!).Then she decided she'd like to paint. I usually distract her at times like that because it takes some time to get it all set up and she usually only paints for a couple minutes before she's onto the next thing. Then there's trying to keep an eye on her weilding a very wet paint brush and keeping Hudson entertained at the same time. Then all the clean up! But it's been a while, so I indulged her. She impressed me today - painted for over a half hour.

After a few paintings, she ran and got some balls to try a special painting technique. She dips the balls in paint and rolls them around in a box. It makes some neat prints.

Finally, she decided to give herself some red highlights. Aren't they nice?

We got this set through Jeff's "points" - a type of spiff. We thought it'd be fun for the kids to play on this while Jeff was out in the garage working on a project. For now, it's inside. Kaylee discovered that the bolts will screw down into the table. I showed her how to switch the drill from "righty tighty" to "lefty loosey". She spent quite a while this morning drilling them down and then backing them back up. Daddy will be so proud!

Next Kaylee ran into the kitchen and asked me to help her open a certain cupboard door. She took out her baking set that she got for Christmas. I had forgotten that it was in there, but she apparantly didn't! She asked to make cookies and it didn't take too much arm pulling to agree.

What's this? Chocolate on her face? How could that be?

Oh - sneeky! (Just like her mom!)

Those highlights go well with your apron, Kaylee!

mmmmmm... cookies!

It's nice that this pan is small. That way I can just make a couple of cookies and she doesn't know that there are lots more. Otherwise, she'd keep asking and asking and asking for more.

They turned out pretty good!

Hudson Pictures

So here are some recent pictures of my blue eyed boy:
WOW - look at those eyes!

Nice hat!

His first jeans. Oh, they make him look so much older. What happened to my little baby?!

Kaylee Pictures

I just downloaded a bunch of pictures off my camera, so here are a few recent pictures of my kiddos (Kaylee first).

We had a freak snow fall one day a few weeks ago. It was mostly melted later that day, but it stayed in the shaded areas.

This is the first time ever she joyfully played in the snow. Normally she freaks out the second snow gets on her clothes.

"Look mom, I got snow on my shoes!"

Below: "How you likin' my 'do ma?"

I found an old camera and gave it to Kaylee to play with. Here's her method of taking pictures:

Cheese!

Baby Lessons

God speaks to us through our children. Haven't we all drawn parallels from parenting our little ones to God "parenting" us?

Today I was holding Hudson in my lap. He was standing up and facing me. He looked aside and suddenly his eyes lit up. I knew exactly what he saw. He's always fascinated with a silver vase I have on top of our bookshelf. He dove towards it. I allowed him to touch it. He got even more excited. I wanted so much to indulge his desire to explore this interesting object because of how happy and excited he was. But I knew it would be trouble. The dried lavender would spill all over, the vase itself is very heavy and unsafe. Too heavy for a little baby to hold. I thought of God wishing he could indulge all our "wants", but knowing that something so pretty and seemingly wonderful could be really hurtful and "too heavy" for us. Like Hudson, we don't understand this. We might think God is being mean or punishing us, but He's loving us and doing what is best, even though it hurts to see our dissapointment.

I will take this lesson from my baby and try to trust God in all things.

Thanks for the reminder Hudson!

Our Kokamamie Kaylee

Kaylee was a shy baby, but she's really been coming out of her shell lately. She's still wary of others, but she will let others help her with her shoes and stuff like that. She is starting to have friends and look forward to playing with them. I think one of Kaylee's biggests gifts so far is her gift of encouragement. We see it in her as she is so quick to cheer us on when we accomplish something, or giving us compliments. Examples - when we get home from church and dad is driving, as soon as he pulls into the garage and shuts off the car Kaylee will say "Yeah Mommy!". Yep, I get the credit. Most times it's when we're playing a game on the Wii. Kaylee is always cheering us on and congratulating us when we do well. An example of a compliment would be Kaylee telling Mommy that my hair is so pretty - whenever I wash it and leave it to dry. I guess wet hair is pretty. Quite often when I dress, she'll look at my shirt and say "it's really nice!"

Kaylee has friends. She plays with her friend Matthew at least once a week. They get along pretty well and she looks forward to seeing him. This morning Kaylee was saying something about having a "best friend". I'm not sure where she got the concept of "best" from, but that's what she was saying. We asked her who her best friend is and she declared "KAYLEE!"

Everyday she does so many things that are so cute, adorable and funny - I wish I could remember them all. Sometimes I'm lucky to write it down before I forget. I've got a list here, so I'll just go through it:

Kaylee's favorite movie now is WALL-E. I'm ashamed to admit that I let her watch more than she ought, but now it's really cute when the movie starts and she sings along to the opening song. "Out there..." I don't know the name of the song, or the musical it's from. But Kaylee seems to know most of the words and then fills in the ones she doesn't with words of her own. It's so fun to hear her sing it.

When I put Hudson down for a nap, she waits at the door then shushes me and pushes me out so she can close the door.

She always says "Me" when refering to herself, instead of "I". "My awake" I hope this is a normal part of speech development and nothing to worry about.

She thinks it's funny to lick us. She loves it when we duck away and say "gross!". So the other day I stuck out my tongue and licked her back. She didn't like it either - she said "gross, mommy!" It was fun.

This morning she wanted cake for breakfast. (she takes after me)

When I read the book "Snuggle Puppy" she howls out "OOOOOOOO". Struck me as adorable. Those of you who know the book know what I'm talking about.

Well that's my list.

Hudson Happenings

Hudson is growing into the sweetest guy imaginable. I can't wait to see what he'll be like as a man. If these past 7 months are an indication - he's going to be a rare gem to be sure! He's got a gentleness about him. There's nothing more compelling - I believe - than a strong man with gentle ways. It's almost magical. And boy is he sweet! He's so quick to smile. Ladies in the nursery always say he's quite a flirt.

One of the best parts of my day is getting Hudson up out of bed. Usually the first thing he does is grab tight with his arms around my neck and it feels as though he's giving me a big hug.

A few of Hudson's favorite things lately are my hair - he loves to pull on and play with my hair. In that way, he isn't gentle. He might grab gently, but once that hand clamps down he can pull my hair clean out if I don't watch it! Sometimes I set him down in the sunlight and he tries to grab at the shadows on the floor. He has two very favorite toys. One is a hairbrush. I don't know, maybe he has a hair fettish? He loves holding it, turning it around and exploring all the different textures. Yes, I really think it's more of a texture thing. He seems to really like textures of all kinds. He still plays with his socks and any clothing he can grab hold of. His other favorite toy is one that he plays with in the bath. It's a simple blue plastic scoop that has holes in it for sifting sand. When he's in the tub I can offer all other sorts of toys -which may distract him for a minute - but soon he's back with his blue sifter. He's a simple man, with simple tastes, and for that I love him all the more!

I got him his first pair of blue jeans the other day. Oh man, they make him look so much older!

The last thing I'll say is that I think he'll be starting to crawl in another month. He'll often pick his whole upper body off the floor with his straight arms. A few times he's gotten to his knees as well. I try to make him do "floor exercises" everyday. Kaylee started crawling at 8 months. She probrably could've crawled sooner, but she needed the right motivation. For her it was having Grandpa there - to crawl away from because she was so shy! Maybe for Hudson we'll need Grandpa there to crawl towards, because he's so outgoing!

Prayer and Perspective

It was a long night. Kaylee was up twice. Not sure why. "Kaylee awake", she said...and she was -wide awake. Twice before 2 a.m. I had put her back to bed! Hudson was up another couple of times. Maybe he was waking her... I don't know. All I know is I woke up tired, cranky, and not feeling very well. I told Jeff I'd be lucky to get the kids out of their pajamas today and would probrably let Kaylee watch lots of Monkey Shows while I took it easy on the couch.

During the course of the morning I grabbed some coffee and sat at my laptop. I like to look at random blogs from time to time to see what's going on and important in people's lives out there.

Today I came across a family who has such heartbreaking circumstances happening right now. Their first baby, Gabe, died at 37 weeks (stillborn). I went back to read the few posts before he was born. Read the excitement in her words as she showed off her belly and the new nursery. My heart ached as I knew what was about to befall her in a few short weeks. It occurs to me that this must what God deals with all the time but infinitely more sad, infinitely more... everything. Then I forwarded to the post where she relayed the day she didn't feel movement anymore. They went to the doctor and had an ultrasound. It brought back horrible memories of our own loss. Fast forward to pictures of the funeral. Such a small casket. They shouldn't have to make such things! Then fast forwarded to a post around mother's day. Her raw plea that God would just talk to her - not through the Bible's scriptures or anything - just to talk straight to her, struck me to the bone. I read on in amazement as she told the story of her mother finding a book in a store she'd never normally go, in a place it didn't belong. Opening to a page with a poem written from the perspective of a baby that died very young. Next she flipped to another poem about "Gabriel". Ugh! Tears all over the place!

I follow her blog now: http://patriceandmattwilliams.blogspot.com/ and will add my prayers to all the others in the world concerned for their second son, born just this past February and is diagnosed with a serious skin condition that could threaten his life.

I read what Patrice is going through on a daily basis and compare it to my own day. I've got NOTHING to complain about. I embrace my children and thank God for them - and for their good health.

During this Lenten season, our pastor is giving a series on killing worldliness in our lives. This hits home to me as I've also felt God leading me to tune out all the junk in our world and focus on things that are lasting and really matter. God, family, friends!! What is more important, watching the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica or spending that time interceding for a little baby who's every day is a struggle? Okay, maybe Battlestar isn't a good example for most people. What can I say, I'm a SciFi junky.

I have a list of needs that I am starting to pray over daily in place of my worldly need to watch stupid tv shows during my kids' naptimes. If any of you have needs that you wish to share and have me pray for, email them to me at langekl@hotmail.com or if you don't care about privacy, go ahead and leave it as a "comment" at the end of this or any post. If you have an answer to prayer that you want to share, please do that too!

The "City House"

It's taken me almost two weeks, but finally an update on our recent stay up in Vancouver is here.

Jeff had a few days off, so we used some bonus time and stayed at our timeshare up in Vancouver. This was our second time staying there at "The Canadian" and again, we had a wonderful time. The layout of our room was different this time, and I think I liked it better, although we didn't have one room that was all windows like last time. This time each bedroom had one wall that was all windows - looking out on the cityscape.
After church, we stopped at the Lynden City park. We had a bit of time to kill since we couldn't check in until 4 and we wanted the kids to be sure to nap in the car on the way.

Jeff said that this was no easy feat, getting her to peek out the window at the same time he snapped a picture!

We arrived right about 4 pm and got checked into our condo, then went for a walk to the nearby IGA market. While there, Jeff was pushing the kids around in a double stroller (which we soon learned was too big and bulky for the narrow aisles). Coming around a corner, Jeff nearly ran into a guy with the stroller. Jeff looked up and, recognizing this man, gave a nod (as he would do to any customer he might run into - which often happens when he's out and about). But Jeff wasn't likely to run into a customer in Vancouver... how would he know this man? Jeff gave a double take and realized suddenly that it was Steven Segal! I was nearby. Jeff came over and pointed him out to me. I wouldn't have seen him because I was too focused on looking for items on my list. Steven happened to look over to me just as Jeff pointed him out, so I gave a smile. He nodded as he also did for Jeff, but we didn't approach him or try to talk to him - he's just a little intimidating! I'm sure he would've been nice and gracious, but who wants to be bothered at the grocery store?! Anyway, that was a nice kickoff to our time in Vancouver - Canada's Hollywood! We kept our eyes open the rest of the time we were there, but didn't see anyone else we'd know.

Our condo has two bedrooms. We decided that Hudson and I would sleep in one room, because he usually sleeps in bed with me when we travel, and Jeff and Kaylee would be in another room. I really looked forward to this because I figured I'd get a lot more sleep than usual. That night, or actually in the wee hours of Monday morning, Hudson woke me up. I had all the blinds open and was able to lay there looking out at the city. I soon noticed that it was snowing outside. It was so nice to lay there watching the snow fall so peacefully.

Monday we went to the Vancouver Aquarium, located in Stanley Park. It was gorgeous. Snow clung to all the shrubs and branches. Outside the aquarium is a beautiful fountain:

This year Kaylee made peace with the froggy that gave her quite a scare last year! If you get our yearly videos, you might remember Kaylee playing in this little car quite happily until she looked over rather suddenly and realized there was a frog looking at her. She cried and wanted out that instant. I can't blame her for being freaked out by it. Don't worry about Kermy though. He knows better than anyone that it isn't easy being green!

This was Hudson's first outing in the backpack. He's the perfect size and weight. Jeff was saying that he needs to start taking him on more hikes now. As it turned out though, it was easier in the end to have Hudson in the umbrella stroller and Kaylee in the backpack. She wanted to be up there, and Jeff was willing to sacrifice his back to accomidate her. It was nice not having to constantly look around and keep track of where she was.

I was so excited to bring my new camera and take a gazillion pictures on this trip, but wouldn't you know it - I turned it on and it told me that I left the disc in the computer! This camera won't allow you to take pictures and save later. grrrrr. Luckily I also had the point and shoot. It's much slower, but less bulky. This is the best picture I was able to get of the dolfin show:

Yep, it's a slow camera.

That night Jeff took Hudson on a long walk around the city. They went on a wandering route to the BC Center which is being worked on big time for the Olympics. Here's a view of part of the city:

Hudson is diggin the ride! That pacifier didn't last the whole trip. It's somewhere lost in the streets of Vancouver - probrably having an interesting adventure of it's own.

That's about all the highlights. I can't believe I didn't take any pictures of our actual condo. This was by far the most relaxing time I have had on a trip. It's nice that it's so close by. Plus I've mostly perfected my packing list for such trips. I'm sure this will be one of our regular getaways.

As I've been typing this blog, Kaylee has asked me two times already to go to the "City House" as she calls it. Mind you, it's 7 a.m. and this was almost two weeks ago! I'm sure she'll ask a number more times as the day goes on. I'm finding she likes to go on trips now and doesn't have any problems sleeping somewhere new. I think she likes our timeshare condos better than she likes her own home!

This is How I Feel

Does anyone else ever feel this way? I think it represents the job of being an "at home" mom pretty well!

Another First (for Me Anyway)

I always wonder if and what Kaylee dreams about. I wonder if she remembers them or realizes that she has them. I ask her if she sees "shows" when she sleeps, but I don't think she understands what I mean when I ask her, because she runs to the TV asking for "mokey show".

This morning, however, I think I had my first bit of evidence that she does dream...

She was a little disoriented coming out of her room. I was already up so I was able to be there right away. She kept asking me where the house is: "House...where is it?" The concern was so evident in her voice that I just said, "Come give me a hug and we'll go look for it." She asked me another 5 or so times, then she said something about "maka's cookies". I asked her if grandma had made her cookies and she said yes. So I think perhaps she was dreaming at being at her grandma's house and grandma had made her cookies. Sounds like a very nice dream to me! No wonder she was so upset when she woke up and couldn't find her "maka's" house or those yummy cookies!

The Design Girl

What do you think?

A big thank you to my husband for this wonderful Valentine's Day gift of a custom blog design.

And of course another big thank you to the talented Danielle at The Design Girl!!

If anyone is interested, check her out at http://blogsbydanielle.blogspot.com/

Time for some serious blogging. I'll be back!

Mommy According to Kaylee

My friend Jen posted this little quiz on her facebook page. I decided to see what a 2 year old would say when asked these questions, so here are Kaylee's answers:

1. What is something I always say to you? "doctor"
2. What makes me happy? "Kaylee happy"
3. What makes me sad? "Kaylee sad"
4. How do I make you laugh? "ha- hee hee hee hi"
5. What do you think I was like as a child? "Kaylee girl"
6. How old am I? "Hudson, Kaylee, Daddy"
7. How tall am I? "you achoo"
8. What is my favorite thing to do? "go fish"
9. What do I do when you're not around? "you nap" (I wish!)
10. If I become famous, what will it be for? "Kaylee play railroad" ?? I'm not entirely sure what she said.
11. What am I really good at? "stories at night"
12. What am I not really good at? "Kaylee wake up" (she's got that right - she's an EARLY riser!)
13. What is my job? "Kaylee work"
14. What is my favorite food? "grasshoppers"
15. What makes me proud of you? "say again amen"
16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be? "monkey show" (curious george!)

Eating Green

I am considering embarking on a culinary adventure this coming summer. When looking at ways to eat smarter and cheaper, I came across the idea of buying beef in bulk. Yep, buying a cow. I did the math and it seems a lot cheaper to buy a cow (or half a cow). Of course I'll get all sorts of cuts that I don't normally use, but I'm willing to learn to make new meals. There's a place I found nearby that raises angus on organic feed and fields that have been chemical/pesitcide/herbicide free for at least 3 years prior to certification. I read that not only is the meat leaner and more nutritious, but tastes a lot better too. Plus if it's cheaper (or at least equivalent) to regular meat from the grocery store, or Costco, then why not?

Along the same lines I'm also considering buying whole chickens and eggs from a farm that raises them organic and lets then run around in fresh air and on fresh grass all day. These chickens I'll have to cut up myself, but I get excited at the idea of cutting up my own chickens and making soup stock and all that - like a real pioneer woman who didn't actually have to chop off it's head and defeather it. :)

I also did the math and it seems that it would be cheaper to also buy into a share of a local CSA (community supported agriculture). You get a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables every week, grown within 20 miles and on your plate within 36 hours. I like the idea of eating local and in season foods. I'd love to have a garden of my own, but our yard isn't situated well for that. The CSA I am considering is not from one specific farm in our county, but from a group of farms.

I'll bet none of you knew that I'm secretly "green", did you? Well, I could do a lot better, but I try to do my part. I use G diapers, I recycle, and I make use of food recycling too. Not that I'm concerned for the health of the earth - when it comes to global warming anyway, mankind couldn't even come close to causing the kind of damage that a single erupting volcano could do. But God did make man the caretakers of the earth and if anyone should be environmentalists it should be Christians. I also believe God made the earth and all it's bounty specifically for our bodies, and they weren't made to handle all the chemicals and pesticides we put on our foods.

So these are my thoughts lately. I love the idea of cutting out chemicals and eating more nutritous, local, healthy food, but even more I love the idea of saving money. So does anyone out there have any words of advice on this subject? Have you used CSA's or bought a cow? Did you save money? Was it worth it? I'd love to hear about it.

Hudson Has "isms" Too

Even though he's not talking there are a couple things he does that are uniquely Hudson and I just wanted to share.

1. Hudson likes to bounce when I'm holding him. I'm sure a lot of babies do that, but Kaylee never did and I just think it's so fun.


2. When Hudson is studying something (especially lights and fishtanks) he likes to check it out from all angles. He will suddenly lay backward and tilt his head back so he can see it upside down.

More "Kaylee-isms"

1. Kaylee has taken to praying for her good friend Wall-E. She also remembers Mo and Eve. She really loves that movie Wall-e!


2. She likes to sit and type on the keyboard. She's learned that the keys have letters on them and when she pushes it, it shows up on the screen (if I have Word open).


3. The other day I burped (quietly of course and I said excuse me). Kaylee said "Gross!" It was cute!


4. In an effort to make her more aware of her feelings of having to "go", I often ask her if she needs to go potty. Often she tells me "in 10 minutes".


5. Right now as I'm typing this, Hudson is laying on my bed and Kaylee is reading books to him. :)


6. Kaylee has a new dance style. Those of you who get our yearly DVD will get to see. I sing her a song and she walks in a big circle with her elbows up and out at shoulder level with her hands in fists. Hard to describe, and hard to imagine how she came up with this strange dance move.

Eating Strategy

Hudson is almost 7 months old and has been experimenting with solids for about a month now. It's interesting to me the differences between my two kids. I have some video below that I took when Kaylee first started eating solids. I should take some of Hudson too. I'm just usually in such a scramble to get him his food.

Hudson's strategy is to scrunch up his face, turn beet red and start whining like a dog as soon as he gets into the high chair up to the point where I get a spoon in his mouth. (By the sound of him, you'd think he was wasting away) Then he clamps onto the spoon, shoves it in his mouth and won't let go no matter how hard I yank. After a while he gets distracted. I sign "more" and he practically throws the spoon to the floor looking for more.

Kaylee was much calmer in the chair, but extremely focused. (see below)